Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There r osticjed everywhere
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize