so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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