Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize