he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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