apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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