is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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