I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize