Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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