my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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