I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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