i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize