Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize