3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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