You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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