I don't think brook has ever known best
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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