I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize