I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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