I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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