plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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