On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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