oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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