So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize