I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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