I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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