Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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