I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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