i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize