Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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