i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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