if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize