quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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