There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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