somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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