My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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