My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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