Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I want a musical about memes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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