4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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