Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
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take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
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I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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