i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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