highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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