Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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