i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize