I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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