So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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