when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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