highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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