YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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