Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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