I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize