Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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